The best thing about being a dinosaur is being naked in the woods. Meet Cocky the Naked Dino. Our newest member of the staff. Cocky was born naked during the Jurassic period. He covered ancient events like Madonna and Joan Rovers.  His resume is extensive.

“Walking around through the woods naked and being a dinosaur has taught me a lot,” Cocky says. ” Like, there’s a party anywhere you look.”  Cocky walked around a small town till he found a cheap motel that stunk of beer and pesticide. There he found teenagers partying!  What a surprise! Rising from a 3.5 billion year slumber, Cocky met America for the very first time.

You can troll through the forest naked for a millennia but you’ll never see what you’re going to see once you meet a girl from America. It’s party like barbie with these ratchet tools.

It doesn’t take much to see when a party’s really stared. “Who pee’d on the floor?” Cocky shouted. “Duh, you.” Some silly girl replied. Nobody seemed to care. Cocky saw the humor in the situation and internally cried for his mother. Then he decided to leave at what it was,  a pee stain on a motel floor. That’s when he met Becky.

Just walking down the the street in America minding his own business when all the sudden, “Look it’s Taylor.” No Cocky, it’s Becky! Said the people on the street.

What a night! Cocky thought it was going to blow, but no.  Cocky saw Murcia for what it was. Taylor Swift went pop while Pearl Jam went country. It’s a good thing he don’t know the difference.

Then Cocky learned his new favorite thing to do. Trolling people on the internet.

“Meet Cocky”