It’s been a minute since I’ve been here. That being said, what do I say? I’ll start here. I work a lot. If I’m lucky I get get four hours a day with my wife before I need to go to sleep and do it all again. If I don’t I get less sleep and each day I become more tired and make poorer decisions. I come home more tired. As I get older this becomes a problem. Where I need to go to sleep earlier and if not I’m even more tired than I was the next day.
I’ve been doing it for along time. Ever since my daughter was born 30 years ago and that’s okay. A father is suppose to do that. Go to work and make sure the bills are paid, there is food and shelter. Everyone is okay and has what they need and maybe even what they want. Or think they want.
Then ÆON was born. She came early (25 weeks) and had little chance of survival but she did. Of course she did, it was someone else there that needed me. And it went like this from the day she was born.
It keeps happening and happening. I need you Papa, I need you Dad, I need you husband. I need you foreman I need you neighbor, I need you friend. Something different happened when ÆON was born though. She answered me on a FaceBook message when she was just days old. Or rather through me. She replied for me. To this day I don’t know how.
When she was born so early and unexpected, the nearest hospital Mercy didn’t have a NICU at the time and so she needed to be life flighted to the nearest one. Which happened to be Little Rock Children’s Hospital and so she was. Once there they placed her in a incubator that had a live web cam to watch her with. We watched as nurses came and went. Procedures were performed and different colored lights bathed her as she slept.
We had to make quick arrangements for my daughter (her mom) and my wife (grandma) to get there. Money was tight and everyone was scared. I had to go to work or we’d not be able to pay for something like water or gas the next week. The demon of living paycheck to paycheck.
When they finally got there the next day I had no contact with either of them until I was able to get home from work, log into facebook messenger and see what happened. Had my first granddaughter lived or survived. I was scared to ask and uncertain what to say. Muddy and tired I logged into to check on her but the nurses were doing something and turned off the camera. I logged into facebook unsure what to say. “They left the camera off the whole time they were in there.” I said. My wife replied,”Yes. And I can’t see it here on the wifi. Kara hasn’t got to hold her yet.”
I took a drink of beer and took off a boot. Looked up and had replied,”She will.” Except I never said or typed she will. I had been hacked the first and only time. Something or someone else replied for me in the matter of seconds. I was the only one home. Perplexed I tried to explain to my wife that wasn’t my reply. She already over whelmed with the situation and could comprehend what I was saying.
She will.
And she did. She’s here now and four years old. We did it. She spent most of that time with us, grandma and grandpa but she’s started to Pre-K now and beginning to grow up. Today I saw worry in her eyes for the first time. And that worried me.
I’ve seen laughter, joy, excitement as she realized that this was mine. Her first bed, her first bike. Her babies. Plush toys that make her so happy. The need to go fishing again. I’m not the best grandpa but I want to be. Thanks to ÆON I will.
She still has her grandma. She loves to sing and play ukulele.
All I know is, she will. Monday morning I’ll go back to work and come home again. I’ll look forward to seeing her next weekend and we can do it all again. Maybe this time we’ll go fishing. Or play karaoke or guitar or both.
At least I got ÆON
RevJamesBJones 